ARTICLES

For reprints of any of these articles, e-mail info@aliveinjesus.org. 

Building Healthy Relationships in a Dating-Challenged Society

If Adam met Eve these days and you could read his mind, he’d probably be wondering if all her body parts were “natural” and whether she was the type to corner him into making a commitment. Eve, meanwhile, might well be wondering how much money Adam earned, if he had six-pack abs, and whether he drove a nice car. And they’d probably both be so worried about “getting trapped” in a bad relationship that they would not give birth to the human race. . . .

Originally published in Strategic Adult Ministries Journal (Issue 158, May 2005).  To read the full article, go to http://www.cookministries.com/events/sam_journal/index.cfm?N=25,94,10,5.

Lessons from The Bachelor
 
Why did the Bachelor men strike out in love? Although the TV program’s perspective is secular, the response of the bachelors reveals a great deal about why single Christian men and women are, tragically, often failing to get together to develop strong relationships that produce strong Christian families. . . . 

Originally published in Strategic Adult Ministries Journal (Issue 159, July 2005).  To read the full article, go to http://www.cookministries.com/events/sam_journal/index.cfm?N=25,94,9,10. 

The Key to Fighting Stress: Keep it All in Perspective

In September of 1991, two hikers trekking through a remote mountain area of Italy and Austria stumbled upon “The Ice Man,” the frozen remains of what would later be identified as the oldest fully preserved human body ever discovered. When scientists carefully examined it, they had quite a surprise. The Ice Man, who lived 5,300 years ago, showed signs of arthritis and early stages of hardening of the arteries — arteriosclerosis. The conclusion — the Ice Man suffered from a condition that afflicts many people today, stress.

Originally published in AMERICAN BAR ASSOCIATION: THE WOMAN ADVOCATE NEWSLETTER (Spring 2005). To read the full article, go to http://www.abanet.org/litigation/committees/newsletter_gratis/woman_advocate.pdf.

TALKS

Betty Patten is available to speak and minister at church services, revival meetings, singles group meetings, and other events. Depending on scheduling, she can minister on one day or over several days. To schedule her for an event, e-mail info@aliveinjesus.org.

The following is a summary of some of the talks that Betty is prepared to deliver. Each talk runs about 60 to 90 minutes in length.

Talks For General Audiences

Getting Out of a Spiritual Rut

Do you feel like your life is in a spiritual rut? Maybe your prayer life is dried up or you have lost your sense of joy in Christ. Do you no longer like going to church, or you go to church, wanting to be filled, but repeatedly go home empty? Do you believe your prayer life is not what it’s supposed to be?  Do you want to know what God’s will is for your life but you are having a hard time discerning what that is?  Deep down, do you feel that Christ is distant or that maybe God is limited in what He does or what He does for you?  If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, this talk will give you some answers.  We’ll look at Isaiah’s life for clues on how to get out of spiritual ruts.

Three Hindrances to Walking with God

This talk addresses three stubborn sins that will hinder your ability to walk with and receive guidance from God: disobedience, pride, and shame. Participants will learn specific steps to deal with these stubborn sins.

The Key to Relationships: Being a Person in Love

We’ll discuss one of the key reasons marriages fail: one person expects another to fulfill physical, emotional, social, and even spiritual needs, in ways that people--by their nature as human beings--are just unable to do. We’ll discuss how a love for Christ can fill that gap, look at ways love grows cold, and discuss ways to develop passion for Christ.

The Choices We Make in Life

In this talk, Betty shares her testimony of how she came to the Lord as a first-year student at Harvard Law School and was subsequently called into ministry. Betty uses points of her talk to spur listeners to consider whether they are making choices in their life for God or whether they are still battling the “who’s in charge” war with God.

Talks For Single Christians And Those Who Love Them

Sex and the Single Christian

This talk looks at what the Bible says about sexuality and answers some common questions singles have about the Christian view of sexuality—Is sex appropriate outside of marriage? How far is too far? How can I be holy when all these hormones are raging through my body? Are pornography and masturbation appropriate? What about sexual fantasies and daydreams? The talk will also discuss the common practice of sexual fraud.

Will I Ever Marry?

This talk answers the question “Am I ever going to marry?” and looks at what singles who are called to be married can do. Betty will emphasize the importance of praying for your future spouse, even though you don’t know who he/she might be. Betty will share her testimony of how, after nine years of praying for her future husband, she met her husband David.

Love, marriage, and a baby carriage? The impact of secular culture on attitudes toward dating

The old rhyme went, “Susie and Johnny in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Susie and a baby carriage.” Yet, such traditional relationship patterns rarely occur today. Secular culture has abandoned dating in favor of one-night hook-ups or joined-at-the-hip relationships, and, more often than not, the baby comes before the marriage, if marriage occurs at all. This workshop will look at ways secular culture impacts attitudes about dating and relationships in the church. Can the church appeal to people who are used to fast-paced relationships? Does it risk watering down God’s message in order to do so?

Navigating the Christian Single Life

Are you interested in dating but overwhelmed by the herds of faces and cliques at many Christian single/church events? Are you confused about what men and women want in relationships? Do you know how to apply what the Bible says about sex and the single Christian to your relationships? In a workshop that will be mostly a question-and-answer session, Betty Patten will encourage you in your effort to navigate the Christian single life.

Talks For Leaders of Single Christians

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride? How SAMs handle dating and relationships

Betty will share her experiences with single adult ministries (“SAMs”) around the country and discuss how some SAMs succeed, but many fall short, in helping singles with dating and relationships. Why is there a “reality gap” between what many SAM leaders expect and what really occurs in relationships among singles? And what can be done about it? The talk will look at the example of Ruth and Noemi and discuss how leaders can come alongside singles and support them in ways that honor God.